25-year-old Amanda Harper has been called a gold digger, disgusting and other terrible things because of the 33-year age gap between her and her boyfriend Jay Horsky, but she’s not going to let that bother her!
A couple with an age difference of more than three decades are not going to let the naysayers and critics, who say their love is ‘disgusting’, get to them.
Amanda Harper, 25, has had to put up with a lot during the course of her relationship with 58-year-old Jay Horsky. She’s had to put up with stares and nasty comments when she goes out with her boyfriend.
In fact, most people often think that they are father and daughter.
The couple, who reside in Huntington Beach, California, met on Plenty of Fish and Amanda said that the first thing she was drawn to regarding Jay was his eyes.
And after meeting, the pair were rarely apart from each other, as they bonded over Jay’s passion for building Halloween props. They have even opened a haunted house business together.
Amanda has received online abuse for their three-year relationship. She has been called ‘disgusting’, ‘a horrible person’, and ‘a gold digger’. But she says that she tries to ‘laugh off’ all of the mean comments.
Standing up to the critics, the couple, instead of taking offense, try to show others how ‘happy and healthy’ their relationship is. They also want to prove that ‘age is just a number.’
Amanda, who works at PetSmart, said: “We’re hoping to change people’s minds one day at a time by showing how great we are together.
“It’s annoying having to defend our love, but it’s only typically people in unhappy or toxic relationships who struggle to understand.
“I lost one friend because I was dating Jay, he didn’t like my relationship based on the age gap – and called me ‘disgusting’, ‘a horrible person’, ‘gold digger’ and more.
“I don’t understand why I get called nasty things for being in a happy and healthy relationship, it just blows my mind.
“Normally people who work up the courage to ask, ‘Is he your dad?’ which is a conversation starter I then proudly say “he’s my boyfriend.”
“Even in pictures of us, you can often see people’s shocked or disapproving faces in the background, but we don’t let it get to us and still remain happy.
“You get the evil eyes and daggered looks but I would say we have more positive feedback than anything.
“We laugh about it a lot, we never want to associate any negativity towards age gap relationships and want to educate people.
“The worst part for me is that people can’t see that we are good for each other and very happy.
“Just because we are different ages doesn’t mean we are not compatible, it’s still taboo to be in an age gap relationship but things are getting better.
“We’re hoping to contribute towards breaking the stigma – one day it will just be normal and for the most part people won’t say anything to us.”
Amanda found her husband through online dating, when she saw a picture of him with a Bengal Tiger, and she just had to know what the story was behind the picture. From there, they met up and they bonded immediately.
She said: “I approached him after liking his picture online and noticing that he was 15 minutes away from me, a few days later we decided to meet up.
“Before, Jay wanted to make sure I was “real” and was over 18 because he simply couldn’t believe I would be interested in him.
“He had also been divorced three times and scorned by women so wanted to make sure he wasn’t getting into trouble or a trap with online dating.
“On our first date, we were both talking nonstop, I hugged him immediately and was drawn to his energy, he was so warm and inviting.
“He wasn’t creepy at all like you can get with other people you meet from online dating.”
Amanda said that she has always been attracted to older men, and there was something about 58-year-old Jay that was enough for her to go public with an age-gap relationship for the first time.
She added: “I have always been attracted to older men, but Jay specifically caught my eye.
“It was definitely his hair, he has that perfect shade of silver, his eyes are so intense and then he’s so happy and focussed.
“I felt like when I was talking, he was paying full attention to me as a person, he seemed genuine as soon as I met him and I knew I wanted to see a lot more of him.
“He’s so smart and no matter what situation we are in he seems to know what to do better than anyone else, he just takes control of a situation.
“For me, men under 40 are just too young, when my friends point out someone young and attractive I have to ask them what shirt they are wearing because I can’t see it.
“I only register men with grey hair, in the same way that certain people only like redheads or blondes, I love greying hair.”
When she told her dad about the age of her new boyfriend – who was eleven years his elder, he initially opposed it, but after meeting Jay, Amanda’s father warmed to him.
Amanda said: “My dad is younger than my boyfriend and at first he was angry, he was ready to fight Jay.
“I’m his only daughter, so he was very protective, on the day they both met he came in huffing and puffing, not knowing what Jay looked like.
“Jay handed him a beer and the two of them started talking without my dad realising who he was, by the time he knew Jay was my boyfriend they had got on really well.
“At the end of the night my dad even gave him a hug, he loves Jay now they are like best buddies – no one treats him differently because of his age.”
Amanda also added that Jay’s family – his two sons, three step daughters and four grandchildren – have been very welcoming to her.
She added: “Jay’s grandchildren are beyond great, they are very accepting of me and we love each other just like grandmas and her grandchildren do.
“I always wanted to be a grandmother but was never interested in being a mother, they love me and have no problem telling strangers I’m their granddad’s girlfriend.
“It’s cute hearing them showing off about us to other people because to them age is just a number, they are cheering us on and defending us regularly.
“Also, Jay’s mother lives across the street from me so we spend a lot of time together, she finds it funny that out of all the women is his life the one who makes him happiest is less than half his age.”
The loved-up pair are continuing to grow their Halloween business, as they bond over devising new ideas for props and scares.
Amanda concluded: “We love Halloween and bonded over building Halloween props in the early days of our relationship.
“We love scaring people, dressing up and getting all crazy and twisted, it’s a release that we can share together.
“One day we hope to expand our Halloween business and are always coming up with ideas for the haunt and how to scare people. Every year brings us closer together.”
Ah, who cares about age? Good luck to them!