So, have you ever been to a town that you thought was a dump? We’re not talking about the time you went into Manchester to find a Burrito and a beer was going to cost you for lunch. Or getting harassed on the high street to buy a mobile phone case and a helium balloon. We’re talking about a really rubbish town, a place where there’s nothing to do and nowhere to go. The butt hole of the country I suppose we’re talking about.
It appears many people have been to a dump of a place and all of their experiences have been collated to created a dreadful top 10 worst towns to live in England. People who actually live in these places may have a different opinion on the list, some of our staff included.
A website called iLiveHere has spent the last 10 years pulling together annual polls, which were carried out amongst thousands of readers who either lived there or been to the town in question. There may be some biased reviews involved in the polls but they definitely didn’t hold back with their damning reviews.
So here we go! On to the results of the top 10 worst towns to live in for 2017. Play the presentation music!!
Location? Lancashire, Northwest.
Reviews: “You may think it’s a jolly seaside resort with candy floss and donkeys, it’s a scumbucket for the transients who come here to draw benefits in a holiday resort, instead of an inner city.”
“Go back a few streets from the prom and you will see the deprivation, the ghettos and the scummy pubs that make up the REAL Blackpool.”
Doesn’t detract from going seeing the lights every year though right?
Location? Greater Manchester, Northwest.
Review: “I think Oldham was best summed up by a friend of mine who upon a visit to this fair town one day remarked that the people of Oldham look as though the government has been performing nuclear testing in the area.”
“The parenting skills of the local Oldham populace are unrivalled. It is common to see disobedient kids being quickly put into place by their mothers, who employ such tactics as threatening to knock out their kids.”
At least they have Oldham Athletic to cheer them up though. Err maybe not then.
Location: Tyne and Wear, Northeast.
Reviews: “Sunderland’s only real claim to fame is that it has the highest rate of teen pregnancies in the Europe”
“You see these females, and I use the term loosely, with their omni present offspring (Demi Louise, Chantelle, Tyler, Kylie, Mercedes Lambrini) trudging up and down Newbottle Street in their snide Burberry and Kappa, their foil lined bags abrim with the morning spoils of shoplifting from Superdrug”
“It’s a pretty sad place, to be honest. Find somewhere with easy access to Newcastle City Centre and you’ll be happy”
Can’t imagine who would have wrote that last review!
Location: Kent, Southeast
Reviews: “I have lived in Gravesend all my life. I have visited many other crap towns across Kent like Lewisham, Dartford, Chatham and so on and not one so far, has even came near to being as chav infested as Gravesend.”
“If you must come to Gravesend, please stop by the estate agents and buy my house, because it’s far to close to chavs for comfort.”
“Gravesend… it sucks. It really, really sucks.”
That last review really is to the point!
Location: West Yorkshire, North.
Reviews: “Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be enough words available in the English language to emphasise what a complete and utter f**king sh*thole this place really is.”
“Bradford is literally hell on earth. The city centre resembles a squalid cess pit, full of monstrous partially demolished 60’s concrete office blocks, Pound shops, amusement arcades, prostitutes, heroin addicts, Eastern European car-jackers, Asian drug dealers, pre-pubescent mums and mad alcoholic tramps having arguments with themselves.”
Despite the comments, Bradford was third on the list last year so it’s looking up for them.
Location: Greater Manchester, Northwest
Reviews: “No need to hide the rolls of fat around one’s midriff, no need to bother with personal hygiene or inconveniences such as makeup or combs. You are now standing in the centre of the universe. Breath deep my friend, soak it up. Then make your choice – leave fast or stay forever.”
“Rochdale, once described by Monty Python as a quaint Northern village, I am sure you already recognise this as a misnomer of the greatest degree.”
The place known by Oldhamers as Dogdale was number 9 last year and seems to be climbing closer to that top spot!
Location: Lincolnshire, East
Reviews: “If Maccy Ds is the chav’s staple diet, what does that tell you about a town that boasts not one, not two but THREE of these gourmet eateries?”If Maccy Ds is the chav’s staple diet, what does that tell you about a town that boasts not one, not two but THREE of these gourmet eateries?”
“One good thing about Scunthorpe? It takes about 5 minutes from the town centre to get out of the dump and go to a better place!”
“Don’t believe anyone who says Epworth is the nice part of Scunny, it’s just a chav country retreat”
Pretty damning reviews from the locals!!
Location: Bedfordshire, East
Reviews: “One of the most shocking moments of my stay in Luton was on Christmas day. My friend pointed out the local McDonalds, saying “it gets busier every year”
“Black, White, Asian it doesn’t matter, everyone looks like they’re trying to escape or have given up hope on life itself.”
Maccies open on Christmas Day! It’s a good place to go in my eyes.
Location: East riding of Yorkshire, North.
Reviews: “I was born and bred in Hull and can honestly say you’re bang on with your description. What a f**king dump this place is.”
What a beautiful description!
Location: Kent, Southeast.
Reviews: “Let us for a moment imagine that the British Isles are the silhouette of an old man. Scotland is his cap, Cornwall his toes, Anglia his curved spine, making Dover his herpes infested s**t-hole.”
Amazing review of the number 1 place not to live in England. Sure people will have different opinions so let us know what you think!